chain e-mails...

does anyone else get chain e-mails? does anyone else hate them? well here is my response to the most recent one i got?

Whoever you are:

So, I came across one of those stupid chain mail letters in my inbox today. You know, the one's that tell some sappy story that someone with too much time on their hands has concocted. After reading through the list of innocent bystanders this e-mail has been forwarded to I came to the conclusion that you are quite possibly the originator of this waste of words. Since I have always hated these I have finally decided to retaliate. I, unlike those poor superstitious souls who receive these things, will not contribute to the further circulation of this e-mail. But there are a few things I really want to know.

Is this elaborate tale of a poor outcast eventually rising above his peers to be "a cool kid" true? Most likely not, my guess is you just make it up to help placate the rejection you have previously encountered. Don't delude yourself into believing that some event created in the fictitious caverns of your mind will make things better.

I am also dying to know why you must include threats at the bottom of your "inspirational message." People pass these stories on to their friends in order to make themselves feel better. "Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER, YOU'RE REQUESTED TO SEND IT TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU." If you are truly friends of those you send this to, you would not need them to send it back to validate that relationship. How shallow is that? In addition, I can not remember the last time I threatened one of my close friends. You have some nerve to first require your friends to validate your friendship and then heaping guilt upon those who do not continue spreading this crap around the web like a disease.

Why must I send this on to my friends? What are you hoping to accomplish? Why do you implore me to waste their time as you have done with mine? Do you get a paycheck if enough people read this? Did you think everyone would be entertained by this work of fiction? Well you're wrong.

If you were not the originator of this, I am sorry to have unloaded years of frustration on you. But please don't tell me you actually fell for this story and that it made you feel all warm inside. Haven't the abundance of these things made you smart enough to see through them? Are they honestly that good, that you feel you must continue to spread them? I don't foresee a Pulitzer for the authors of any of these stories.

Forgive me; I am just sick of this stuff in my e-mail inbox. To me it is worse than spam because it comes from someone I know so I cannot mark it as spam. And then my confidential e-mail address is floating around out there for all the world to see. Today I get sappy stories, tomorrow I will be inundated with, penis enhancements, free credit cards, cheap Viagra, discount cigarettes, and more lonely singles than I could entertain in a lifetime. Is that what you want for your friends? Is this some subtle way of telling me that my penis is in fact too small, that you want me buried in credit card debt, that I should take up smoking because you are hooking me up with cheap cigs, that my flaccidity somehow bothers you, and that my wife is not good enough, so I must re-enter the lonely world bouncing aimlessly among the millions of singles that are "just right" for me? If so, I am sorry you feel that way "friend."

Take Care,

Sam

kingsam@gmail.com

WARNING:
PASS THIS ON TO TEN OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS. HELP THEM KEEP OTHER CHAIN MAILS FROM SPREADING BY SPREADING THIS ONE. IF YOU DON'T SEND THIS TO ANYONE IT MEANS YOU HATE THEM AND HOPE BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM. BY DELETING THIS YOU WILL SET INTO MOTION THE CHAIN OF EVENTS THAT WILL BRING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD.