Dell Sux

To my good friends at DELL:
My problem is with the grossly inefficient system you use in your service department. After an infinite series of transfers between wrong departments, several hours, and countless services code entries I have gotten absolutely nowhere. It seems my admiration and long time praise of Dell were sadly misplaced. Does anyone in your service department have any idea where they are transferring me or is my call just being haphazardly bounced around the earth like some unfortunate global super-ball? I am now experiencing jet lag due to the lengthy world travel I have participated in during this phone call. By the sounds of things I have been to India, China, Great Britain, and either Chile or Iceland, I am still having trouble deciphering the accent of my latest assistant. I am hoping that we can make into my own country before dawn.
I have long been a loyal customer of Dell and have always been pleased with their products. However, it seems like Mr. Michael Dell has lost touch with the daily happenings of his company. What was once heralded as one of the most efficient companies in modern time has become a service dinosaur. The runaround I am currently experiencing makes calling the IRS hotline a walk in the park. I am tempted to trade in my Inspiron 600M for a pad and paper. How come when I have a problem with my Big-Mac the 16 year old kid behind the counter can offer a quick and timely solution; yet when dealing with your “technology” company no one working there has a clue what is going on? Granted the issue is a bit more complex, yet the McEmployee is definitely superior in customer service.
As my patience wanes with the incessant wait I have begun wondering if perhaps there is a deeper purpose to my wait. Perhaps this is fate’s sadistic way of illustrating that we American’s lead a much too demanding lifestyle. Thanks to your tech support I am now basking in this much needed down time. I cannot recall the last time I was able to sit in one place for more than three consecutive hours. I think you should allocate some of your massive R&D budget to “R-ing and D-ing” your customer support system. Please wait…..please wait…..please wait…..please wait. This is ridiculous. Mind you, this is being written in hour three of my futile attempts to get my computer fixed. Maybe by the time we get to the bottom of my problem, I will have a book.
First of all, what is the point of having me enter my express service code at the beginning of every single transfer only to be asked for my service code when I finally make it off hold? Doesn’t it seem logical to you that my service code would transfer along with my phone calls? With the volume of calls you get and the number of transfers your employees make you could save millions in long distance fees by eliminating this onerous step. Since you are listening I have an even better idea. Why not cut the number of transfers down to one by simply transferring me to the appropriate department for the first time. Genius!
Well, I guess I better not waste any more of your time as I am sure you have a whole cue of frustrated patrons like myself waiting to talk to someone who can actually offer assistance. I suggest you make some changes to your service department before you make Mac users out of all of us.
P.S.
Could you please add some variety to the music and messages on hold; the repetition is killing me. Also, if you could forward this to Michael Dell, I am sure he would appreciate my correspondence. Oh NOOOOO! I just got disconnected, now I have to start this whole process over.