more griping and such

it is not my intent to make this a place for me to post e-mails to stupid companies. however, i thought you may enjoy another. i recently had a bad experience when i went to the olive garden, instead of making a scene, i e-mailed them about it. i spent several paragraphs explaining how poor my service was and so on. they replied with an e-mail asking for more clarity and a description of my waiter. unfortunately, i could not be an accomplice to the inevitable flogging of my server so here is my reply. enjoy!

Dear Ann and Olive Garden Staff:
Thank you for your timely reply and heart-felt apology; I appreciate your concern and effort to maintain your client base. I provided you with a phone number in my previous communication and you are more than welcome to contact me at that number. I am sorry if my prior correspondence lacked clarity; this is surprising to me as I felt I went to great lengths to describe to you the disagreeable circumstances of my visit. It is not often that I am told that my e-mails are shrouded in ambiguity as clarity is something I have long admired and continually strive for in all I say. Since I felt my last e-mail was clear it would be pointless for me to try and clarify what to me seemed limpid. Kind of like one of those blind leading the blind type of scenario (not that I am calling you blind I will gladly accept the title of "guilty party" and brush up my writing techniques). So please understand my desire to forgo the hassle of repeating my concerns and spare you the headache of trying to once again to decipher my inadvertently cryptic language.

I realize you would like to know who my attendant was; then you can deal swiftly and harshly with this perpetrator of lousy service. However, since no law was broken; I feel morally conflicted by your pretentious request for a description of my host. I do not feel that a line-up is a necessary evil to invoke for something as trivial as poor customer relations. So, in a sense, I wish to press no charges. Granted, I suppose your response to this will be something along the lines of not being able to remedy this unfortunate event without the ability to personally address the offending party. However, I am sure my server was just having "one of those days" and I am choosing to give them the benefit of the doubt here.

Also, in response to your second question, I did not consult a manager, which was, retrospectively speaking, a mistake on my part. Oh, that we could make all our decisions with the transcendent aid of hindsight. Yet, I am generally a non confrontational person, and having worked in the industry myself, I had no desire to cause any trouble. I instead have opted for this much more passive approach as I have the luxury of avoiding any form of heated, and in my opinion, demeaning, face to face discussion. And for providing this alternative venue for customers to voice their concerns I must extend to you my sincerest of compliments. I welcome your reply, and again thank you for taking the time to consider my concerns.

Regards,
Sam King